About New Moon: With all these pots of money the movie is earning, does the cast get to share in the windfall? At the very least will they gets cars or Rolexes or something? And are these kids finally A-listers now? —Scarlett via the Answer B!tch inbox As much as you may think that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart each deserve a brand new shiny Volvo for delivering all that magic over the weekend, as far as I know, they'll just have to settle for millions and millions of dollars. As for a piece of the action and other perks, well... ...yes, according to reports, the deals afforded to Stewart and Pattinson include not only a raise from about $2 million on the original Twilight to about $12 million, but also a percentage of the profits. That $12 million figure applies per film, according to the Chicago Sun-Times, meaning that, presumably, Stewart and Pattz got at least an additional $12 million for Eclipse, and they should get something close—or, let's hope, better—for Breaking Dawn. And that's standard for successful franchises. "The percentage is usually pretty small—5 percent or less—but I have seen them higher," entertainment attorney Christopher J. Cabott tells me. "In most cases, the costs to make the film never get fully recouped and the talent's percentage never comes into play. On a blockbuster like Twilight: New Moon, however, the costs should get recouped and the talent's percentage on net profits should equate to a handsome payday." Gifts are also common, and I have no doubt that if Summit is smart, it'll at least toss Taylor Lautner some new shirts. (No reliable reports indicate what kind of pay raise Lautner earned for his near overnight bulking up to play Jacob Black, but lawyers tell me he's likely getting a hefty increase, too.) Such traditions have been going on for quite a while. Way back in the 1990s, when Macaulay Culkin was considered merely a jaded child actor and not a jaded adult actor, he starred in franchise called Home Alone. When it came times for Home Alone 2, Mac got a pay raise from $100,000 (and no percentage deal or "points") to $5 million and 5 per cent of the profits. That made him Hollywood's first millionaire movie star born in the 1980s. The Culkin family was also offered a Range Rover by Fox studios as an incentive to sign on for Home Alone 2 before the first film's release. As to your second question, they're not A-listers yet. The true definition of an A-lister is an actor who can open a film on name alone and do it across many, many demographics, from teens to retirees. Pattz may have women, but old dudes have yet to get on that train. "This film is very much character based," Cabott rightly points out, "and the characters are adapted from a series of books. The cast was selected primarily on who best personified the book's characters and not so much on how their acting fit the script." That is, if they even want to keep acting. Like Harry Potter star Emma Watson, these kids may make so much money off of their percentage deals that they never have to take a role they hate, ever again. ________ They've already shot Eclipse, can you beleive it? Sneak a peek in our gallery.

Why are people so up in arms about the comments Miley Cyrus made about not liking Twilight? I'm sure there are plenty more people out there that don't care for it either. —LeAnn, via Facebook Miley Cyrus—and fellow Disney pixie Selena Gomez—sure do dislike themselves some Twilight, yes they do. Miley told a radio station this week: "It's a cult. I don't believe in it." And Gomez then confided in Bonnie Hunt that when it comes to the Saga flicks, "I don't watch them." Which is odd, because just this past June, she was asked about Twilight and said: "It was good. It was really good." Hmmm. What people are wondering here is whether Miley, and now Taylor Lautner's punkinhead of an ex, were compelled to say nasty things. Because no teenager is allowed to hate Edward Cullen. It is the Tween Code, and it must never be rent asunder. So, people assume, something sinister must be going on, and by "sinister," people suspect "Disney." Did the Mouse have a hand in this? Well... Certainly studio contracts do contain some muzzling of their stars. For example, if Miley actually loathed that sunny, singing Hannah Montana character she plays, she couldn't exactly let loose on Disney in the press without suffering some sort of legal backlash. But do those contracts also require nastiness toward perceived rivals? Not likely, entertainment attorneys tell me. "I would be a little surprised if there were something in their Disney contracts that said, 'You can't comment favorably on a product that is being produced by Warner Brothers,' " for example, says Jeffrey Spitz, attorney at the entertainment law firm Greenberg Glusker. "If a studio were asking something like that, the person's attorney would probably say, 'Wait a minute, what are you talking about here?' It's just too weird." So what's left? Casting directors have told me in the past that occasionally an actor will disparage an overly popular franchise just to get some cred with a new, older audience. Which could be the case with these tweens, who likely are trying to grow up and away from, like, tween stuff. Or, sometimes one must simply apply Occam's razor—if Miley says she doesn't like Twilight, she just might simply...not like Twilight. End of story.

Sarah Palin: Why won't she just go the hell away? —JYLynn, via Twitter Her lingering corpse does seem odd, given she was slaughtered during the election, then drawn and quartered by the media after she left gubernatorial office—midway through her term—in Alaska. At this point, Sarah Palin's just another celebrity shilling a book, right? So why does she seem like so much more? Well... She's no ordinary D-lister with a big mouth. She's an ordinary D-lister with a huge mouth, a mouth that knows exactly how to make people look, and keep looking, regardless of real substance. Although she has no job (other than speaking engagements, which usually stem from, you know, a job) and no declared future goals (2012 presidential elections aren't on the "radar," tee hee!), she has skillfully milked her past to keep people interested. Really interested. And mostly female conservative people. "Palin is expanding her reach, because many women relate to what is seen as a raw deal Palin received from the McCain team" during the 2008 presidential election, says Jamie Miller, a political consultant who specializes in Republican women. "So they are willing to take a second look at her while she is on her book tour." Hence Palin's appearance on Oprah, who has played host to a ton of he-done-hurt-me guest stars. And "McCain's mean!" isn't the only spin Palin has managed in recent months. People are also obsessed with her because—despite some stretched facts in her new book—her self-styled image campaign as a "maverick" is working. Denizens of Palin Country see her as an honest, folksy leader who will forge a new future for America...somehow...someday. "People think Sarah Palin will really challenge politics," says former N.J. State Senator Alene S. Ammond, who was a Democrat and is now Independent. "It's not because she doesn't having anything going on now, it's about what they think she will do in the future." We shouldn't ignore the media in all this, either. They breathlessly report everything she says and does, inflating her status so much you'd think she's actually running for office—or dating Jon Gosselin. There's the Palin-as-political-trainwreck angle, the Palin-for-2012 angle, the Palin-victim-of-sexism angle or the Levi-Johnston's-johnson angle, take your pick. The more the media reports on Palin, the bigger she gets, at least, in her own mind. Finally, Palin is giving people what they really want, and it isn't her opinion on the capital gains tax. "She's the Real Housewives of New Jersey of politics," political consultant Eric Schmeltzer tells me. "She knows controversy feeds the news, gets attention. She might say she wants the media to stay away from her kids, but she puts them front and center. It's all about the persona of Palin, and people watch and pay attention to see what she'll say or do next that's juicy." Oh. You betcha.

Do you think the New Moon kids are actually going to have careers after all the Twilight drama dies down? Or be taken seriously? —Queen of Shoes, via Twitter Well, because E! Online readers just love reading about how actors are jealous of other actors, or sleeping with other actors, or making little baby actors with other actors, let's do this right. Let's put this in terms of other actors. Like who among the Twilight stars is really the next Matt Damon, who's the next Drew Barrymore and who's the next Keanu Reeves? Behold a possible future for each New Mooner... Kristen Stewart: The Next Anna Paquin? Of all the New Moon actors, Hollywood power brokers tell me K.Stew has the best chance of a long, varied and respected acting career. Very few, if any, actresses have broken this big in a romantic lead actress role the way Stewart has, so pinning down her future proved challenging for the people I spoke with. Still, "I would put her in with the Anna Paquins before I would put her in with, say, Natalie Portman," Gillespie tells me. "It's the same vibe, same personality, same quirkiness, the aversion to media. I just think she's very smart." And like Paquin, who got an Oscar for her first big role (as a child, in The Piano), Stewart has mixed up her roles, blending indie comedies like Adventureland with suspense stuff, like The Panic Room. And unlike—ahem—others in the New Moon cast, Stewart "is an actor's actor," talent agent Susie Mains tells me. "She's interested in the work," much like Paquin. Nikki Reed: The Next Drew Barrymore? Work with me, here. Reed first broke out with Thirteen, an indie movie she cowrote, which was loosely based on her own life. She also executive produced The Last Day of Summer. Rehab and dramatic autobiographies aside, that kind of initiative puts Reed in a good position to chart her own future, much like Barrymore and her Flower Films production company, my sources say. "Taking the Twilight supporting role was a brilliant decision," casting director Bonnie Gillespie of Cricket Feet Inc. says. "This way, she's not so completely branded like the Twilight leads are, and it also gives her a way broader fan base." Taylor Lautner: The Next Matt Damon? All the arguments you need for that are really in my latest podcast, in which I reveal that Lautner actually is Damon, but my sources are on my side, too. "I think he could move into more leading man stuff," says Mains, who has worked with Tobey Maguire. Lautner, as we all know too well, is only 17, so it'll take a few more years, and a few more roles, before we can proclaim this prediction with smug certainty. Kellan Lutz: The Real Next Matt Damon? Gillespie actually knows Lutz, and says he's got major potential. In fact he has so much potential he could fall somewhere in between the Jason Bourne-style action star Damon and the effortlessly fun George Clooney. (Yes. Really. The same Lutz that says he's obsessed with animals and candy.) "I love his sense of humor, and he's really very smart," Gillespie says. "He could be a huge action hero, and he would also be the prankster on the set and not take his fame too seriously." Robert Pattinson: The Next Keanu Reeves? He's got the broody thing, the hunky thing, and, from the perspective of Hollywood power people, we're still really not sure whether they guy can act. Like Pattinson, Reeves changed up his roles early on, "doing more challenging stuff between the Bill and Teds, like My Own Private Idaho." That means Pattinson is Keanu Reeves in the making, right? Could be, my sources say. But, you know, in a good way. "There are many people who would kill for that kind of career," Gillespie says. "Superfun, superintense...but not necessarily known for his chops. Fun to watch, but someone who will probably excel in less-challenging material." As for my own future, I suspect I am The Next Target of the Twi-Hards' Ire. I'm off to barricade myself against the vampire horde.

Lady Gaga's video for "Bad Romance" is either astonishingly brilliant or horrifyingly, beyond-belief stupid. What do you think? Guide your lemmings, Answer Bitch! —Liz, via Facebook I think we need to understand what Gaga is trying to tell us other than walk, walk, fashion, baby. And to do that we need to analyze the images we're seeing, and boy are there a lot of 'em. So what are we working with here? The video includes images of a hairless cat, a guy in an S&M roman gladiator chin strap, an alternate Gaga with anime eyes in a bathtub, and diamonds floating in space. And oh: She's crying, and dancing, but not at the same time. She wears righteous sunglasses. There is an actual story to the video, and we'll go over it through the wise, mystical prism of dream analysis! Let us begin... First, the general premise. If you've seen the Hostel movies, you may notice that, like the plots from said movies, Gaga appears to be in a situation where she's being auctioned off as a sex-slash-murder toy. Guys in S&M Roman gladiator chin straps are bidding on her, but not before she emerges as a creature from a pod who must be groomed into the fashion goddess she is. Simple, right? OK, now let's take a closer look at some of the images, with some help from real-life dream analyst Carolyn Wills, whose work is featured in the book 365 Ways to Get a Good Night's Sleep. She points out that the sequence of the images is important—as is the fact that the person has to actually have dreamed this stuff, and Gaga, while genius, probably just acted it out. All that said: The floating diamonds: They may represent "the gem of clarity of thinking; beauty of the soul, pure ideas," Wills suggests. "Frozen in space would mean those ideas are frozen, the beauty is frozen, the ideas are frozen, unable to produce." Gaga with anime eyes sitting in a bathtub: "Extra good vision or seeing too much of any one thing," Wills suggests. "In the bathtub—that would indicate the need to be cleansed or to be forgiven, and the person with the large eyes fully well knows that." The bidder in the gladiator chin-strap getup: "The gladiator is a romanticized version of a soldier," Wills notes, "as in 'Am I being a good soldier about some issue, or do I need to be more disciplined?' " Or, dare I say, whipped? The hairless, hissing cat: Cats generally represent the feminine side of oneself, Wills says, but it "can also mean cattiness—hissing would indicate aggression, and hairless would indicate baring it all." All that said, what's my opinion? Sheer brilliance.

Why can't Michael Lohan or Jon Gosselin shut up? Is it a disease? —L, via the Answer B!tch inbox I wish it were, just so I could claim credit for the discovery and make up an awesome name for it, like egobelioma or delusia bifida. But no. In fact, the reason why Michael Lohan won't stop talking about his daughter—or leaking supposedly private calls about her—and the reason why Jon Gosselin still thinks anyone cares about what he has to say, is a lot more chilling than a mere head disorder... Because according to psychiatrists, it could affect any of us, if the circumstances were specific enough. Because it's in the air. "This is actually more of a cultural effect," Clinical psychiatrist Dr. Paul Dobransky tells me. Culturally, it used to be considered the norm to earn a living with one's hands—growing corn or making cartons, you see. Or you chose a profession, like the mighty law or Sweet Lady Science. But increasingly, especially for people who don't choose any of that, there's only one option left, an option that has gotten new life and respect thanks to the Intertubes and the YouTubes and the many other tubes. "All that is left is branding your sparkling personality," Dobransky explains. "In the end, you get everyone having a feeling that if they don't brand themselves and sell their life and their personality, they are at risk" of failure, the good doctor says. And it's not like these folks have anything else to offer. Unless you count creating a barfly actor like Lindsay Lohan, or a gaggle of eight little gravy trains, as a skilled craft. And I don't. All these guys can do is feed the media machine and hope to get paid for interviews, a tell-all book or, in the specific case of these two guys, a reality show called  The Divorced Dads Club. Of course we can't blame only society for Jon or Michael, or we'd have a planet of Jons or Michaels. These two also have specific personalities that, when combined with said cultural phenomena, create monsters. Specifically, Dobransky divides most people into four personality types: magicians, warriors, lovers and kings or queens. Michael is likely a magician, Dobransky says. "The magician personalities feel fulfilled when they get a chance to entertain others, engage them, make them laugh or get a reaction out of them," Dobransky explains. Of course if you can engage millions of people on a daily basis, you're one completely ecstatic magician. (Gosselin probably fits into the category of the lover, more of a soft, creative ne'er do well. Again, perfect for the world of reality TV and reality TV news.) And if not, you've got a serious case of egobelioma. (Originally published Nov. 12, 2009, at 2:19 p.m. PT)

What could Levi Johnston possibly gain by posing naked for Playgirl? —Babs G., via the Answer B!tch inbox You mean besides money and the eternal high that comes with making Sarah Palin miserable? As the Jews might say, dayenu, that would have been enough. For women, there are tons of reasons for posing nude: Sharon Stone said she did it for money right after appearing in Total Recall. It sure didn't hurt, given that she later went on to do stuff like Basic Instinct and Casino. We won't even begin to discuss the ongoing successes of The Girls Next Door. But when it comes to guys who pose in adult mags, there are, generally, only two types: (1) Unknowns who, if the ploy works, graduate to sort-of knowns, and (2) bona fide celebrities who stir up noncontroversies by posing only partly in the buff. That latter category includes a major country star married to an A-list actress, and a former teen star who has been linked to Megan Fox... For Brian Austin Green and Keith Urban, their seminude appearances in Playgirl produced mixed results. In 2001, Urban appeared for the mag naked except for a guitar, and it was generally seen as a PR win, if not PR neutral. He shook up his traditional, conservative country image and got to show off his funny side (He told reporters he was glad he plays the guitar and not the harmonica, tee hee.). Four years later he got with Nicole Kidman, and he's also taken home a string of country music awards. Green appeared in Playgirl in his underwear in 1996, Marky Mark style. That was the year that Green made a play as a rapper, and he failed, but he has since gone on to do Smallville, the TV version of Terminator and, if the tabloids are to be believed, Megan Fox. Green is also a director and has his own production company. Of course, neither of these guys showed the full Johnston, and both were actual stars before they agreed to pose. In fact Johnston doesn't fall into either category of typical-nude-guy poser. He is neither a nobody nor is he Keith Urban, so it's tough to say how he might benefit from pulling this stunt. However, according to one former Playgirl cover guy, posing fully nude probably won't lead to any real long-term benefit. More likely, Madison Hildebrand says, it's a short term move for Johnston to drum up money, controversy, publicity or maybe a book or a year of reality-show fame. Hildebrand, author of the career book Activate Your Passion, Create Your Career and a star of the Bravo TV show Million Dollar Listing, was on the cover of Playgirl last year. Though he, like the celebs above, did not go full frontal. Johnston is "certainly getting an immense amount of press," Hildebrand notes. "It's certainly putting him on the map...but longevity? I don't think so." Well, we're gonna reserve judgment on Levi's longevity at least until we see that spread.

What's up with Fergie and her hubby? Did he seriously cheat on her with a stripper? —Lauren J., via Facebook Well, let's see, we have the stripper, named Nicole Forrester, alleging yes; and Josh Duhamel denying it; and Forrester coming back with a lie detector test that she allegedly passed. So, ladies and gentlemen of the Internets, I ask you: Do you accept the lie detector test into evidence? Now, if you're shocked, just shocked, that an actor would get busy with a stripper, you don't know actors. Or musicians. Or sports stars. Or anybody. Because everybody in entertainment loves a good exotic dancer, and I have evidence to prove it, along with a blind item or two... Why are the blind items blind? Because, according to Ed Norwick, general manager of the gentlemen's club Scores in New York, quality ladies do not dip low and then tell. ("Why kill the golden goose" by burning the people who tip you, Norwick reasons.) The average size of a celebrity entourage at a gentlemen's club like Scores is about four, though a few celebrities actually come in completely alone. "When it's just one person, there's a better chance of no one knowing who you are," Norwick explains to me. As for how a star gets into such a club to begin with, many call the G.M. personally, and he meets them at a discreet entrance—but not most of them. "Most celebrities just want to come in, lay low and hang out" without private rooms or entrances, he said. Not all celebrities are big tippers—or even spenders. One frequenter of Scores—and really bad tipper—is "someone coming out of the music industry who is also an executive, he has a company. He's used to getting everything" comped, Norwick said. "I've known him since before he became a phenomenon, and I'll go over to him and say, 'What are you doing, come on.' " The music mogul is not alone: "I've had a very famous English musician, he came out of a band, now he's a solo artist. He used to come in and hang out with his wife on occasion...horrendous tipper," Norwick said. "God knows how much money he's worth." Another shocker: Stars love to come in with spouses. "I have an actor, a major actor in his late 50s—he comes in with his wife, and they have dinner at the restaurant here, and they stay and play." Tired of all this professional discretion? OK then. Here's a not-so-blind item courtesy of the New York Daily News: Last month, Matt Damon and his wife, Luciana, visited the Hustler Club in New York, where the two of them got down. "The club normally doesn't allow civilians to dance, but they made an exception for him," a source told the paper. Let's just hope he knows how to tip.

So what was the most interesting or weirdest answer you heard at your New Moon press junket? —MDuncan, via Twitter You mean I have to pick just one? On Friday I sat through an entire afternoon of Cullens, Volturi and Wolf Pack members, not to mention at least one guy with an English accent, leather jacket and stand-up hair. I think any answer about weird/interesting things said there deserves a Top Five list. At least. Here goes: 1. The current fetishes among the Cullens include this gem from Kellan Lutz: "I'm just obsessed with candy and animals. I love safaris now. I can't go to a zoo. When I was in Africa, I went on a safari and giant white lions and tigers were walking right by our place. Baboons were trying to break in our car and steal my candy, which isn't nice." 2. Perhaps oddly, Nikki Reed is seen as more maternal than Elizabeth Reaser. "I really feel like Nikki is way more maternal than me. She's much more of a caretaker...She would cook me dinner and make me coffee. She was so sweet." 3. Reaser and Reed have made up a fantasy life for their characters. When they aren't standing around in the Cullen house trying hard not to eat Bella, "Esme goes out and tears apart a mountain lion, every other night," Reaser says. "We decided that Esme and Rosalie tear apart mountain lions together," Reed added. 4. Taylor Lautner had to carry around little baggies of food, including beef patties and sweet potatoes, to ensure he ate enough calories to bulk up by 30 pounds for New Moon. 5. The wig that Lautner wears during the first part of the film kind of drove him nuts. "It was very itchy, hot, whatever, annoying," Lautner explained. "It got caught in my mouth and I'm spitting hair out in the middle of the scene. I'm coming this close to kissing Bella and, 'Sorry, I've got to spit my hair out.' It was annoying. "My last day of filming with the wig, we ripped it off, held it up in the air, like, 'That's a picture wrap on Taylor's wig!' The whole crew gave it a standing ovation. It was amazing." Did I say five? Well, vampires never die, and neither did the good times at these press conferences. Here's a bonus from Kristen Stewart: "I'm definitely never going to be a biker," despite her character's increasing interest in hogs in New Moon, she said. "I'm scared of cars, so the idea of riding a motorcycle is just never going to be something that I'm into. I was towed ridiculously. I was on the back of this truck" during the solo motor bike scenes, "and I probably looked funny doing it."

Is Michael Jackson's This Is It only in theaters for two weeks to get fans into a frenzy or to have the DVD out on time for the holiday season? —James L., via Facebook You mean you didn't dissolve into a worshipful faint as soon as you typed the words "This Is It" into Facebook? Bad consumer! Bad! Get frenzying forthwith before the Jackson family finds you unworthy. Despite the high quality of the documentary—I understand it is quite good—yes, there is an element of manipulation at work here, in the two-week-only release schedule. Have you been made a victim? Decide for yourself... ...with a little help from box-office analyst Jeff Bock. "The two-week run is a gimmick that the studios use to create an event aspect to the film; it's for the hype," says Bock, of the firm Exhibitor Relations. In other words, the idea of a limited engagement does indeed get everyone all het up about seeing Michael Jackson sing and dance for the last time. Get him while he's still only a little dead! But does it work? It did for Miley Cyrus, whose Hannah Montana concert film was initially slated for a two-week run, Bock says. Not surprisingly, that engagement was extended when the film started bringing in cash. The two-week ploy does not always work, however. Take the Jonas Brothers' concert movie; it was also a two-week deal, and it is considered a box-office flop. So far, the Jackson film seems to be following in the Miley mold, Bock says; This Is It brought in an estimated $20 million worldwide on its first day—a decent showing, if not miraculous. ("For the hype it was getting, we thought we were looking at the second coming of Transformers," Bock says. "But no.") What does that mean? Like the Hannah Montana concert film, the Jackson movie will likely get an extended run, overseas at least, Bock says. And then, yes, Bock adds, don't be surprised if there's a fresh round of hysterical hype—just in time for a holiday DVD.